Although it seems like I gave up on this blog a long time ago (and I guess I did), it wasn’t because of laziness. The truth is that I struggled a lot after I stopped writing, and when I finally truly overcame that, I was too busy living life to even take a moment to stop and process it. I’m also not one for storytelling and recounting events. I’d rather write about how I feel, and really, who wants to hear that for months on end anyway?

But, here I am at the end, and I am very much a different person from who I was when I got here. I remember starting the countdown when I first arrived, eagerly wanting the time to pass, and now that the end is here, I am full of so much apprehension.

We went around in a circle and reflected on what we learned from this experience. People have always told me they admire how I really have my life together and how I really seem to know what I’m doing. But yet, I still came here to try and find myself and take a step back from the path I was on. The truth is, maybe I don’t actually have it together like I thought I did, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I feel now that the world is wide open to me. The number one thing I learned is to always be flexible. Life is messy and things don’t always fall neatly into place, but you know what? I think that’s exciting.

I remember when going on this trip was just a thought in the back of my mind. I really didn’t think it would ever happen, especially at that point my in life. But it did, and I am eternally grateful for it. The things I’ve learned and the relationships I’ve made will carry me forward for years to come. I’ve experienced so much laughter and love over the last five months that makes leaving this place especially difficult. As I write this, my heart hurts so much, but as a good friend once cheesily told me, “Don’t cry because its over. Smile because it happened.”

As the world is wide open– so is my heart.

I am about to start a new chapter, and even though I don’t know what will happen next,
אני יודע שהכול יהיה בסדר